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Do men compare us to the women in porn movies?
Most men aren't wishing their partners look like these women. They just wish they were as comfortable with their bodies and with sex. We're a lot harder on ourselves than men. All you need is a body that's soft and smells and tastes good. Keep the lighting low if you like. Find a flowing elegant gown or outfit you feel comfortable in, and forget the elaborate bustier. Not all men are into lingerie, and there's nothing worse than squeezing into some skimpy thing you're bulging out of.

—Candida Royalle, former adult film star, president of Femme Productions, and author of How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do (Fireside)

Is there anything women still don't get about masturbation?
There's still the perception that it's "lesser"—what you do if you can't get a date. But masturbation is a sexual relationship you have forever. Lovers come and go, but you always have yourself. Masturbation is also a wonderful way to explore your responses. There's no performance anxiety. Nobody else to please. You can let your mind wander, try things out in fantasy, and see what works. It's a way of staying in touch with what makes you hot, and a great way to pass the time.

—Rachel Venning and Claire Cavanah

Can you be happy without sex?
As a sex therapist, I can tell you that when a couple who haven't been sexually active suddenly have a good experience, you can see the difference. They come in laughing and talking; there's more physical affection between them. It's better than any therapy session. It would be great if we could package the feeling, although it usually lasts only 24 hours, and you have to do it again. On the other hand, there are women out there who simply don't care very much about sex. And there are more sexless marriages than you'd think—relationships that can be bonded, loving, companionable, and devoted. Single women may find that what they most miss is a close relationship, not sex, and they can often find that closeness with friends. That's why women do so well alone.

—Sandra Leiblum, Ph.D.

Everything You Always Wanted to Know...

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