Q: You've been out of touch with an old friend who's coming to town to catch up. You've just heard that her brother died a year ago. Do you bring it up at lunch? Pretend you don't know and wait for her to mention it?
A: "Bring it up. If she needs to talk, she'll value your offer. And if she's found her peace, she'll appreciate that you cared enough to ask."
— Rushworth M. Kidder, founder of the Institute for Global Ethics
"When my mother died, I divided my friends into two categories: those who stepped up and bore witness to my pain and honored my mother's memory by asking me about my loss and, well, those who didn't. Be a friend who steps up. It's the only right thing to do."
— Faith Salie, host of Fair Game from PRI with Faith Salie
From the February 2008 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine
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