"First, [the woman] buys into what the guy is saying," Dr. Weitzman says. "She buys into [the emotional abuse], and it's like a systematic erosion of self-esteem. He says she's bad, and she says, 'I guess I am.' Ironically, that bonds them in some crazy kind of way. They both agree that it's her fault. There's the feeling of being ashamed and embarrassed, or maybe she's hooked on hope, as I call it. She's hoping he'll change so if she doesn't talk about it, maybe it will go away."