These days, Elizabeth says she and John are still living under the same roof and trying to make their marriage work. In Resilience, she writes: "He can try to treat the wound, and he has tried. He can try to make me less afraid, and he has tried. But I am now a different person. The way we were is no longer the way we can be."

Before John's affair, Elizabeth says she was self-confident and comfortable with herself. "I had a pretty good idea of who I was, my limitations and my virtues," she says. "I didn't worry about speaking my mind. If somebody disagreed, it didn't bother me so much, and I looked like I looked. I'm always struggling with weight or something else."

Things changed after John cheated. Elizabeth says her sense of self was shaken. "Everything I did, I thought: 'Do I look awful at home, is that it? Or am I too strident about this?'" she says.