In their new book, He's Just Not That Into You, Greg and Liz have written a set of new dating standards for women. They want women to raise the bar for themselves.
I will not go out with a man who:
(a) Keeps me waiting by the phone
(b) Is not sure he wants to date me
(c) Makes me feel sexually undesirable
(d) Drinks or does drugs to an extent that makes me uncomfortable
(e) Fears talking about our future
(f) Is married
I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me or who is not clearly a good, kind, loving person.
Friend: A person who is your pal. What it generally means in relationships is he's just not that into you.
Busy: Busy means I'm the President of the United States. I'm an astronaut and I'm on another planet. I'm in a really successful band. What it means in relationships is, yeah, I'm just not that into you.
Bad boy: A bad boy is just a bad boy. Stay away. If you're dating somebody that's a bad boy, that's just your fault. If you say "my boyfriend's kind of a bad boy," I feel bad for you. If you say, "I like bad boys" well, then I don't feel bad for you. If you say, "I like things that don't work." Okay, good for you. Generally, guys with low self-esteem aren't worth the trouble. They're just not.
The Dog Pound
Question: So how do you screen for dogs? Answer: You just don't let him be a dog. Your standards are so high you don't let him be a dog. You can't be played if you're not playing. What I want to say that is so key for everybody to get. Nobody—even if a dog has been a dog. He has been head of the pound. Head of the dog pound. If he meets the right person, he will change his dog pound ways. He just will.
Question: How can I tell if he thinks I'm worth it? Answer: If the guy thinks you're worth it, he will do whatever is necessary if he thinks you're worth it. All the guys are nodding. Because he raised the bar and he wants to raise the bar to meet you where you are, if he thinks you're worth it. If he doesn't, then he doesn't. He's just not that into you. And you—we all—should have another standard.
Printed from Oprah.com on Friday, December 13, 2013
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