When your husband doesn't perform a household task to your liking, how do you react? Dr. Robin says many women have the tendency to criticize their partners and redo the tasks themselves—a potentially damaging behavior. "Did you ever realize that criticism cripples your man?" she asks. "So often people just just drop out of the race, they drop out of the relationship, they drop out of the parenting, they drop out of the problem solving because they figure they can't get it right."
Dr. Robin says the next time your husband makes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the children instead of a home-cooked meal or doesn't make the bed just so—don't make him feel bad. "If you really want to solidify your partnership with your man, don't cripple him, don't criticize him, don't make him feel incompetent like he can't do anything right," she says. Instead, "Show him all the ways he does right and remind yourself that your way is not the only way. Partnership really does mean two people showing up with equal power, with equal access to make an equal contribution to create relationships of equality."