By the end of my research, I firmly believed that open marriage is merely an excuse for getting away with behaving self-indulgently and recklessly. In my book Prince Harming Syndrome, any man who wants an open marriage is what I call a Prince Harming. Prince Harming is someone who does not make his partner feel safe, calm, secure, confident—and the idea of an open marriage does not leave me feeling that way.
Dating is for making the most of your options. Marriage is for nurturing the one wonderful union you've been lucky enough to find so it grows into something incredibly wonderful.
It was surprisingly difficult to find statistics on whether open marriages work. Ironically, open marriage isn't something we talk about all that openly. Some research suggests that open marriage has a 92 percent failure rate. Steve Brody, PhD, a psychologist in Cambria, California, explains that less than 1 percent of married people are in open marriages. Nevertheless,it does seem to be a trend on the upturn. Several online dating sites offer applicants a new box to check—married.
So what happened to Steve? I said no to his suggestion for an apartment he'd go to three days a week. You can't be four-sevenths married. If you are going to cheat, why bother asking someone to marry you in the first place?
Karen Salmansohn is a best-selling author known for creating self-help for people who wouldn't be caught dead reading self-help. Get more information on finding a loving happier-ever-after relationship in her book Prince Harming Syndrome.
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