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Although Patti says she thinks Allison is a nice person, she says she felt an unkindness in her on the dates—like when Allison corrected one of her date's pronunciation of an Italian city. After hearing Patti's diagnosis, Allison realizes she has become one of her biggest pet peeves. "I think I'm a one-upper," she says.

Allison's take-charge attitude is what Patti calls the pickle jar effect. "We are so successful today, women. We're fabulous. We work hard. We make good money. We parent. Sometimes what happens when we spend a lot of time alone, we forget to let them open the damn pickle jar," Patti says.

"The one thing I don't think is ever going to change on this planet is men still need to feel like men," she says. "So let them open it."

So how does a woman ask a man to do something without compromising herself? Patti says that if he's not in the room, go ahead and open your own pickle jar. But if he's standing there, Patti says it's just as easy to ask him to open it. "And know that you are the smarter, clever one for doing it," she says. "It's about attitude."
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FROM: America's Toughest Matchmaker Plus Katherine Heigl
Published on March 14, 2008

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