Patti Novak and Oprah

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Jennifer has another problem—she never fully disengages from her exes. Patti says Jennifer accepts their calls, text messages and e-mails. "She still allows herself to be dusted off like a trophy," Patti says. "You need to disengage. Take time out to heal. Rediscover who you are. Because guess what? This next five, 10 years of your life? We just get better."

To fully find herself, Patti thinks Jennifer needs to take time off from dating. "And I think maybe a therapist is a fabulous idea. Spending some time alone and getting in touch with yourself and saying, 'It's okay to be alone.'"

"You get better if you do the work," Oprah says. "And that is the difference between becoming a real woman and just an aging female—because some women just age. Some women just get older, and they don't get any better. That's a line from Maya Angelou who said, 'Don't just be an aging female—learn to be a real woman.'"
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FROM: America's Toughest Matchmaker Plus Katherine Heigl
Published on March 14, 2008

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