If you're a parent in the midst of a divorce—or even if you have been divorced for years—we have an urgent message for you: If you talk to your children about divorce the wrong way, they could internalize their pain and blame themselves for the divorce. Watch kids describe what divorce feels like for them.
M. Gary Neuman—founder and director of the Sandcastles Program and author of Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way
—says he's seen a lot of bad divorces.
The cardinal rule that all divorcing parents need to follow, Gary says, is to never criticize each other in front of their children. "When they bad-mouth each other, it causes [the children] to question if they can love both," he says. "Kids should be able to love both parents. And if you say something bad about the other person, they feel disloyal to you if they actually love the other person. And they should never have to make that kind of choice."