In recent years, there has been an increasing number of adult children "boomeranging" back to the nest, mainly due to financial issues. They're returning at a time when parents are starting a new phase of their lives, so it sometimes feels unnatural to have their children back in the home. So what should you do if one of your children wants to come back home? Rabbi Shmuley offers some advice.
Rabbi Shmuley says the most important thing is that your child knows your home is always their home, no matter what his age. "I don't believe a child should ever be made to feel like they don't have a home," he says. "Parenting doesn't end when a child reaches the age of legal maturity—you are a parent for life."
Another vital step is to find out why your child is coming back home. Is it because she can't make ends meet? Maybe it's a more serious issue involving dependency or an inability to hold down a job. "You have to inspire them to move on with their lives," Rabbi Shmuley says. "Not because you don't want them at home, but because you want them to maximize their potential. You want them to find their own environment, a circle of friends, a place where they can contribute."
No matter what the reason, Rabbi Shmuley says it's essential to make your child feel welcome. "Remember, one of the reasons your child came home is because they're questioning their ability to go out in the world."
"Parenting has no 'sell-by' date. Even when your kids are grown adults, they are still your responsibility. So if they have to move back in, welcome them, while lovingly encouraging them to always reclaim their independence."
Printed from Oprah.com on Sunday, December 8, 2013