For someone who is visibly crushed or sobbing hysterically, acknowledging your role in her distress ("I'm really sorry this is making you so upset") lets her know you care despite the circumstances. If there are tears, offer Kleenex or a glass of water, and ask if she would like a few minutes of privacy, Bristol-Smith suggests. If she's angry, something like "I hear you" at least offers some validation of how she's feeling. Just make sure your empathy is rooted in reality, Sapadin cautions. "Saying, 'I can understand that you're angry with me because I disappointed you, and that was not the way I wanted it to work out, either,' shows concern without giving false hope."