The healing process after an affair takes time, so move ahead one step at a time. If you know your husband has been unfaithful, Gary says you should flip to the last chapter of his book The Truth About Cheating to learn how to cope with the aftermath of an affair.
Timing is important. "You don't go to a person who's just found out [her] husband's cheating and start telling her about what [she] could have done different," he says. "It's like me walking into a hospital room with somebody who had a heart attack and saying, 'Well, if you would have exercised a few days a week...' I mean, good idea maybe, but not the right timing."