dumb girls don't do love better

Illustration: Jen Troyer

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There is a certain female stereotype that I often see on television and in movies. The most dismal (though outdated) example is Ally McBeal, the most recent is Hannah in Girls. Ally and Hannah are beautiful and brilliant and destined for greatness, but they're full of pesky questions about the men they date. They analyze everyone's behavior and try to understand why or why not a certain somebody did or didn't call. In short, their problem is that they "overthink" things.

According to this logic, one can assume that women who "underthink" will have much more success when it comes to love. They won't ask themselves if their long, rambling rant about gourmet tequila on the first date drove a guy off! They won’t pause and examine why exactly they're dating their best friend's ex-husband. They'll just go with it and end up blissfully happy...because...they're dumb.

Please believe me: Thinking about both his and your behavior, trying to understand why he does things (for example, inviting you to bowling night) and why you do things (for example, buying him B12 vitamins) is part of loving. It means you're looking at all the factors to the best of your ability and deciding to participate in the relationships with your heart, body and mind. Nobody says you have to rattle off every idea directly in his ear, but thought is not the antithesis of romance. Whereas thoughtlessness? Hmmm...think about it.

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