Illustration: Jen Troyer
Low expectations are something else entirely. An example: You just want the guy to be straight, funny and not a cheater (the word just is always a tip-off). In my experience, these are not low at all. They are simply revised expectations—after high ones were not met (he was straight, he was funny, and he was a cheater). You created these lower ones to keep from getting burned again. You’re telling yourself to want less than you want, so you might get something instead of nothing. But what happens is...you end up with something that you don’t want. The whole problem, I really, really believe, is the wanting. Going into a date and just letting it be what it is—and later deciding if you like it (or not)—allows for the possibility of the delightful unexpected, which is the official lightning rod of love.