The obvious solution to her angst was—hello?—formula. Then again, that would have required me to validate her imaginary horrible scenarios. I'm not above such scenarios myself, ones in which my marriage crashes and burns due to all kinds of ornate and ludicrous things that will never happen. Instead, I gave her my phone and hit the calendar app. The world's oldest calendar dates back 4,200 years, which means that for quite some while we have had the technology to free ourselves from hurtling forward in space and time to the terrifying, insane conclusion we least want to come to pass. Because that little white square with a number in the upper-left-hand side that proves that something much larger and logical than ourselves, the sun, has determined that today is, in fact, today.
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