Dey Ruano is a working mom who strives to be a star employee and a stellar parent.

"You want to make sure you are giving 100 percent at work, but that you are also giving 100 percent as a parent," says Ruano, who is a marketing database administrator with a 10-month-old son.

But is it realistic to give 100 percent at home and at work? WebMD checked with a career coach and a parenting expert, and both agree the answer is "no."

"I have seen people try desperately to do both and hurt themselves in the process," says Laura Berman Fortgang, head, Life Blueprint Institute; author, Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction and Take Yourself to the Top: The Secrets of America's #1 Career Coach. "Until our culture changes to truly have family-friendly workplaces and community services, it is a matter of choosing," she tells WebMD. "However, it's not an either/or. It is [choosing] which is top priority."

Psychologist Jerrold Lee Shapiro, PhD, says, "To be an involved parent necessarily alters the time and attention one can give to one's career." He tells WebMD working moms and dads must make trade-offs based on their personal values. "What are their values about family and work? How may they live by those values? Are they willing to trade a less affluent lifestyle for more family time?"

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Better information. Better health. WebMD