"Do learn from each relationship," Arnold says. "Write down five things you appreciated about this relationship that you would like to have in the next one and five things you would not like to create next time."

Instead of stalking your ex or making up excuses to call or see him or her, "keep yourself busy with new activities, old friends and healthy distractions," Arnold says.

"Don't get right into a new relationship, she advises. "Don't medicate your sadness with a new person. It isn't fair to either of you."

• Talk to your kids about divorce
• Dr. Robin on coping with breakups
• How to date after divorce

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