"Face-to-face or phone contact is a must," Arnold says. "It's important to give the person with whom you are ending the relationship the chance to ask questions and feel the sentiment underneath the words."

Be as direct and honest as you can, she advises. "Don't engage in tit-for-tat arguments. Stick to the facts: 'It's not working, it's no one's fault, we need to make a change.'"

Can You Be Friends with Your Ex?
Whether two people can remain friends after a breakup depends on the two people and their feelings about the end of the relationship.

"If someone is very much in love—and [then] broken up with—and forever trying to get back with that person, then having a platonic relationship does not work," Lieberman says. "If you are still in love with the person and want them back, the best thing to do is go cold turkey."

While many a jilted lover claims to seek closure by going back just one more time after a breakup, such closure is a "fantasy or a hope," Lieberman says.

"If in your heart of hearts you really want to get back together, the best thing to do if the other person is not into it is to get out of it," she says.

Arnold agrees. "Do take at least eight weeks with no contact. No phone. No 'let's get together for coffee.' No nothing," she says. "You need time to detox and get in touch with yourself again."

Talking every day as "friends" is also a no-no. "That just keeps the wounds and hope open and working," Arnold says. "Don't keep calling to 'check in,' hear how his or her day was or if the dog ate his dinner. Cut the cord in all ways."

Another no-no? Breakup sex, she says.

• Talk to your kids about divorce
• Dr. Robin on coping with breakups
• How to date after divorce

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