Dee-Dee is currently a stay-at-home mom, but she was a working mother once too. "The competition is there because we create it for ourselves," she says. "There's really no reason to compete, because [stay-at-home moms] are just as busy as the working mom. The working mom is just as busy as we are. We just tend to sometimes put the focus on the wrong things. We're all busy 24/7. I consider myself an at-home working mother."

Amy says these wars arise out of our own uncertainties as mothers. "We're insecure about the choices we're making—that's why we're judging each other," she says. "We need to give ourselves a collective break."

Try Amy and Trisha's judgment exercise.

"Have compassion for each other," Trisha says. "Realize we all have issues, and we're all doing the best we can."

Get the conversation started! Connect with other mothers

• Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile's latest book is I'd Trade My Husband for a Housekeeper
• In the Motherhood airs Thursday nights at 8/7c on ABC

From The Oprah Winfrey Show Secret Lives of Moms