Dr. Phil's Ultimate Weight Loss Solution
Step 1: Take Ownership of Your Reactions
 

Imagine you apply for a job you really want but you're not hired. Your reaction could be: "Hey, I don't like getting turned down. But I know in my heart I am talented and competent, and I'll apply for another job." You're being rational and realistic, yet you're not likely to get upset and suffer a huge blow to your self-worth. On the other hand, maybe your reaction is, "I'm such a loser. I blew the interview, and I got what I deserved. That job was too good for me. They knew I couldn't cut it. Give me a bag of chips so I can feel better." What happens in the wake of that thinking is a feeling of stress, and maybe depression. You believe that not getting the job made you upset, when in fact, it was your thinking that hurt you.

Whatever the situation, you can choose your reaction. The events in your daily life have only the meaning you assign to them. This is why one of my life laws states that there is no reality, only perception.

If your response is counterproductive, test your perceptions more often and become more accountable for how you react to problems. Stop being overly sensitive to the negatives, while filtering out the positives. Recognize where your outlook is distorted so that you can make adjustments.

Make no mistake: I'm not suggesting you interpret everything in a Pollyanna fashion. If you experience one of life's top stressors—say, the death of a child or a divorce—it's not rational for you to interpret that in any way as being good. But you have a choice about whether that event will be your undoing or whether it becomes something you deal with in a constructive manner, creating meaning and purpose out of your suffering. That can take any number of forms, from counseling other victims of tragedy to volunteering for a cause. The most important choice you have is what you do now. The past is over. The future hasn't happened yet. The only time is now.

Rethink Weight Loss  
Regaining control of your feelings is not only the key to losing weight, but also to your overall well-being. These seven steps will show you how to do it!

From the October 2003 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine