Planning to live this way is one thing; changing habits of thought and action is another. You're subjected to daily pressure to do things that, while unimportant in the long run, may seem unavoidable in the middle of a PTA meeting. Congratulate yourself every time you drop a Quadrant III activity and replace it with something from Quadrant II. Here are some substitutions I made after doing this exercise:

• Postponed promoting new book to raise money for research on Down syndrome.
  
• Canceled client meeting to bake my daughter's birthday cake.
  
• Blew off e-mail to chat on the phone with dear friend.
  
• Blew off e-mail to volunteer at local methadone clinic.
  
• Blew off e-mail to exercise.
  
• Blew off e-mail to bathe.
  
• Blew off e-mail to sleep.
  
• Blew off e-mail to sense a theme developing here.

At this point, I'd like to apologize to all of you who didn't receive an e-mail response from me this month. Blame Covey and Pausch. (Actually, thanks, Covey and Pausch!) E-mail may be crucially important to you, in which case it should get your consistent attention. But it amazed me, when I did the Quadrant exercise, how many of my urgent-seeming e-mails felt less important than working for people in need, caring for my health, or being with friends and family. I realized that I could easily spend all my time shoveling out the electronic Augean stables, missing countless small experiences that add up to my life's purpose.

• Get more advice from Martha Beck

From the October 2008 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine

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