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7 Steps to Having a Hard Conversation
Posted: Wed 04/17/2013 12:00 AM
Get Iyanla's thoughts on how to approach a difficult conversation that will advance, heal and grow your relationships in seven steps.
1. Acknowledge the fact that you need to have a hard conversation.
2. Clarify your expectations. Be clear with yourself about what your experience should be—and the intention should not be to get your point across or declare who is right. "It's not to have your toxic dump," Iyanla says. "It is to heal, grow or expand the relationship."
3. Invite the other person to have a conversation with you. "Say, 'There are some things going on I want to share with you. I'd like to have this conversation,'" Iyanla says. "If they say no, don't take it personally. Say, 'Can I check back with you in a week? When will you be ready? Because this is important.'"
4. Set the ground rules—especially if you think there's potential for upset. "Say, 'I want to share something with you. I ask you to just listen, and then if you want to respond, I'll listen,'" Iyanla says. "Let's not call names, let's not swear, throw things, whatever. No name-calling, whatever your ground rules might be."
Get the remaining three steps