This week, best-selling spiritual author Debbie Ford shared a dark secret that she's been keeping for 11 years—Debbie has been fighting cancer.  Watch some of the best moments from Debbie and Oprah's discussion.



Finally, she has brought to light her biggest shadow...but what took her so long? See Debbie share the news and explain why kept it a secret.



Debbie says she had no idea what courage was before she began her battle with cancer. Watch as Debbie shares some of her lowest moments with Oprah.



Although Debbie has had some dark times, she's not giving up her fight. She shares advice for those who are going through a similar struggle as she has endured.

By Debbie Ford

I’m so excited that the viewers of OWN will have the opportunity to see my intimate conversation with Oprah.  As I shared in a previous blog post, the conversation changed my own life so profoundly and I am so gratified to know that it touched the hearts of so many others as well.

I saw a headline this week calling my conversation with Oprah a “tell-all," and it made me reflect on what Oprah and I didn’t talk about in our very revealing conversation.

If I had to name my greatest value in life, it would be beauty. Whether it’s a beautiful flower, a beautiful piece of art or furniture, beautiful fabric or a beautiful piece of clothing that flows and inspires—I love beautiful things. I’ve always tried to look my best, knowing that a woman’s beauty is a gift from God that she shares with the world. Being a public person had me develop this side of myself even more, sometimes if only to get people to listen to me.

My goal is always transformation. I love to watch people transform their lives, which includes their inner world and their outer world. It is still breathtaking to me to watch people bring love, preciousness and kindness to their inner world, allowing the light of God to shine through their eyes so that the beauty of their soul can come forth. In my advanced trainings, I help people go through their outer appearance as well, seeing if how they look draws people closer or pushes them away, if the clothing they wear enhances their presence or leaves them blending into mediocrity. Since most of the people I train want to be in front of people and want to make a difference on the planet, they learn to see that first impressions are very important. So I find myself always making over the inner and the outer, to find expression for the divine perfection that each of us holds. This is just who I am. I believe my love of beauty and my ability to see what works is a gift I was given by God.

Now, on the shadow side to loving beauty, of course, is my distaste for all things that I judge as unattractive, ugly or grotesque. Since I grew up without the money to make things beautiful, I found myself at a very young age critical of my surroundings, the clothes they put me in, the shoes that squeezed my feet too tight, and my buckteeth. I tried very hard to make peace with these circumstances and learn to love myself, even though I failed. So my biggest desire as a child was to help people live better lives, to feel loved and to be beautiful. I remember going to the courtroom with my father, who was a judge, seeing the jail and wondering why they couldn’t make it more beautiful. I always wondered why they wouldn’t put better pictures on the walls of my school. As I grew up, I took on the persona of grace, elegance and beauty.

But then I was struck by this devastating disease called cancer. Suddenly, I lost 20 pounds, and my skin was sagging and wrinkled, hanging from my arms and my knees. I was coughing and hacking up phlegm, which would make me pee in my pants. And then I was put on drugs that blew up my face, what they call “moonface," and bloated my belly to look as if I was six months pregnant. I always had the skinniest legs, but here they were dangling out of my clothes that no longer fit. I could barely recognize myself in the mirror. This disease took from me something I never imagined. Slowly, ever so slowly, my vanity was murdered, and I was left with a head of wiry hair, spots on my skin, and tumors protruding from my body. Even when I was called to see if I would come talk with Oprah for "Super Soul Sunday," I asked if we could tape it weeks later because all I wanted to do was get off the drugs that were making me look this way. I was ashamed. All the feelings of helplessness from when I was a child came to me, and my sense of self was gone. Who was this woman in the mirror? I didn’t know her. I cried while I was brushing my teeth, wondering where I went. All I wanted was my face back and my body to return to wholeness. Feeling ashamed of my vanity left me hating myself when, indeed, there was never a time where I needed more of my love and acceptance. I realize now that I was so ashamed that I never mentioned it to Oprah or the producers, who so lovingly wanted to talk about a very difficult subject.

It took a lot of work, but I am so blessed, because once I started doing the work that I’ve taught others for the last 15 years, little by little, I made peace. And of course, like magic, as soon as I owned and embraced that which I didn’t want to be, the swelling went down, and the self that I knew appeared in the mirror again. It’s amazing what a little kindness can do.

Are you ready for forgiveness? Grab a journal and find a quiet place where you can watch this video meditation with Debbie Ford. Play this video and take time to reflect on key questions to let go of past burdens and move into the future.

Watch an encore of Oprah's revealing interview with Debbie Ford Sunday at 11 a.m. ET/PT.

This Sunday, don't miss the encore presentation of Debbie Ford's "Super Soul Sunday" interview in which she discusses courage and reveals the secret she kept for more than 10 years to Oprah.

Before then, assess how courageously you live your life. Debbie has 14 questions that will help you live a little braver—and a lot happier.

Start The Courage Quiz