I just finished watching last night's episode for the second time. The first thing I need to address, because it's really bothering me, is my "@#$% you" comment. I can't stop thinking about it. I shouldn't have said that. I even remember being in that exact moment and after I said it to Brian, I thought to myself, "You shouldn't have said that, Blair." I have never said that to him before, or since. And, that's not something I ever say to anyone. I think it, but I don't say it. I am a human being and sometimes I say things I don't mean. I'm not asking for forgiveness. Yes I am. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to Brian. And, I'm sorry if I offended anyone. I'm embarrassed.

What I was trying to communicate to Brian is that I was okay with the fact that I am unable to pursue my dreams while we live this Army life. I am dedicated to raising our son. If that means I have to do it alone while he's away, then I will do that and do that alone. I didn't feel like I had a right to enjoy myself at that point. I wasn't going to put Colin in daycare so I could do whatever it is that I want to do. That's my sacrifice. I will stay home and care for him. That's the nature of my motherhood...and I say that recognizing that all mothers have their own style. If that's what you choose, that's fine. This is the way I do it. I don't feel the need to defend that to anyone.

Other than that, I have to say that it was hard to watch my family go through that R&R. You didn't get to see the fun that we had during those 2 weeks, because we did have fun. But, you know what? The truth of the matter is, it was hard. I had so many conflicting feelings, and I knew that Brian's head was somewhere else. We were trying to work through some very real issues. It was difficult to see, even for me. But, it was also very real.

It was also hard for me to watch Sara going through such a painful process. My heart went out to her. I wanted to reach through the screen and give her a hug. It's tough when you're scared, and there's nobody there to say, "Hey, everything's gonna be okay,"  because, it might not be. And that's another scary truth.

It was interesting for me to watch Mrs. Goins interact with Cameron. I can't help but think about when Colin grows up and becomes a man and tells me the same things, whatever his aspirations become. Mrs. Goins is such a strong woman; to be able to go through that challenging transition without the advice and insight of your husband, had to be difficult for her.  

To read Blair's full bio and get her Twitter handle, click here.