Patrice Lovely
Linda shows up at the Love Train Diner for work, excited to tell Floyd about an idea she has: Hattie's birthday is the next day, and Linda wants to throw her a surprise birthday party. When she reveals her plan to Floyd, he very bluntly tries to dissuade her from doing such a thing.

Floyd makes it clear that he thinks it's a terrible idea to throw a surprise party for Hattie because she is packing—as in carrying a gun. He is worried that Hattie, at 75 years old, will be so startled at everyone shouting "surprise" at her that she will shoot someone. Floyd also points out to Linda that he thinks all of Hattie's friends that Linda has on the guest list are dead.

Danny and Sam come into the diner, and Danny also has a great idea to share with everyone. Coincidentally, it's the same as his mother's: to throw Hattie a surprise birthday party. Floyd tells them both once and for all that he thinks throwing a surprise party for Hattie is a terrible idea, but Linda and Danny ignore his advice.

The next day, everyone gathers at Hattie's house, waiting for her to come home. Everything is decorated, and they excitedly hide when they hear her coming. The lights are turned off, and everyone yells "surprise!" Hattie, startled by the noise and people, doesn't even hesitate before shooting three shots into her own living room. After the initial shock wears off, everyone seems to be fine except for Sam, who appears to have been shot in the side. They find out that he isn't actually hurt, though; he just wanted attention from Marianna.

After everyone realizes that the danger has passed, Marianna takes the lead in explaining to Hattie how dangerous guns are, and everyone questions her as to why she carries a loaded weapon. Hattie explains that she's just trying to protect herself, but Marianna persists with her anti-gun message, citing the many careless deaths that happen every day as a result of guns.

As the party winds down and everyone is finishing their birthday cake, Hattie complains about her party guests, or lack thereof. Linda explains that she went through Hattie's contacts and hit a roadblock with every old friend of Hattie's that she tried to invite. Hattie finally understands, claiming that she's fallen out with all her old friends—mostly because she slept with their "mens."