During each taping, Iyanla chooses one audience member to be the blogger of the day. For the sneak preview episode of Iyanla: Fix My Life
, Bernadette manned the laptop, capturing lessons, quotes and more. Look back at her notes to find out how three generations of women—Corrine, Brenda and Bernetta—began their journey toward healing.IYANLA: BEFORE THE SHOW
QUOTES OF THE DAY
- Every step has lead to this moment!
- Family is a passion
- We all have a family pathology
- We have a chance to do better for those coming after us
BERNETTA’S FAMILY DINNER
- Taking on an unspoken epidemic, an epidemic of pain and sorrow in the family
- Wants to provide tools and skills and information so everyone can begin the work required to heal every break and breakdown in your family
- Breaking bread is a sacred thing
- Everybody in the breakdown/up play a part in the breakdown
QUOTES OF THE DAY
- Break down walls of betrayal and begin some healing
- Ask the questions that you need to know -How does it make you feel when your mother says I love you, but I can’t stand you?
- Family is protective of each other
- Call a thing a thing!
- If a child doesn’t feel safe, they will not open up
- Grandmother created a fracture in a relationship
- Acknowledge a child’s special needs
- Betrayal by lack of information
- Ask for forgiveness
- Bring your truth to the table
- Brenda abandoned her daughter – needs to acknowledge it and ask for forgiveness
- Behavior had to compensate for “lack of”
- Can’t require her to do what you yourself won’t do!
- Do you value her? Do you respect her?
- Say what you feel!
- TELL the TRUTH!!
- Learn to accept each other the way they are!
- Start building adult relationships
THINGS TO REMEMBER
- What a mother says cuts deeper
than anything else
- What does that mean, “I am your mother?”
- Corrine, you don’t get to sit in Brenda’s face and call her daughter
your daughter – it’s disrespectful!
- Pathology – mothers who don’t
raise their children in the family
- The role of the extended family
is to support the parents as they do the work
- Corrine took over!
- What good does it serve for Corrine to remind Brenda that she is her
- Accept people as you find them!
- Never judge
your clarity on someone else’s response
- Step into your role
behavior creates the fracture
- See them Higher!! See Brenda higher
than she was
- Yoda say, “Only do or don’t do!”
- Acknowledgement is
the first step toward healing
- Ask yourself...does something need to be said?
- Ask yourself, what are you so angry about?
- Why are
you angry at mom?
- Bring the anger up and out or it will show up in
QUOTES OF THE DAY
- I am angry with my mom
because she was not the mom I always wanted
- She’s not the mom I am to my
- She was not the type of mom my grandmother was
- I am
angry with my mother because...my childhood would have been much
better with a mother and father in the house!!
- The little girl
wonders why the grown woman is pissed off!
- I’m angry with my mother
because she wasn’t there for me
- I’m angry at my mom because she
picked my father
- I’m angry at you because my heart is broken over
- Get in your heart!!!
- Let it break because
when it does, your compassion will flow!!
- Fill that joy that you’re open to
- When people have feelings or are upset, it's not about
you. It’s about them.
- Let them feel what they feel!! You can ask and
- Accept who you are today
- Don’t make her responsible for
- You can’t require her to “daughter” you – she is
unwilling or unable to do it
- You don’t have to understand why!
- When there is a breakdown, you have to be willing to give up your
- When you are demanding someone fill a need for you, it is
your responsibility to fill that need
- Fill up that emotional void
you want your daughter to fill
- It is now time for you all to have an
- Get off your position
withhold the truth
- Ask for what you want and say what you mean!
- Listen to what is being said! Not to what you hear
- Accept your family
member for who they are and stop holding them hostage to what they did
or did not do
- NO GOSSIP