Most people have a place in their mind, heart and life that they would rather not have exposed to public view.  As humans, it is normal to have habits, needs, desires and behaviors that you keep to yourself or share only with those closest to you.  These are the sacred, sometimes secret things, not necessarily bad things, but things the average human considers private and personal.

However, when you are considered by the public to be a public person, these things become fuel for public judgment and criticism. They become things that those who do not know you can use to ridicule and condemn you.  They may be things that the average person would do every day. But when a public person engages in the same behavior, the sacred, secret and normal morphs into scandal.

When you are considered a public person, human weakness means you can be discredited, even when the weakness has nothing to do with what made you public.  As a public person your personal challenges can be reported and discussed publicly as malicious intentions.  Your choices and decisions are used to validate public opinion of your worth and worthiness.  Your mistakes and missteps are elevated to offenses that fuel the public’s outcry for punishment, which is often debated long after it is necessary or productive.

When you are a public person, your every intention is suspect; your every move is criticized, your very personage is subject to attack and debasement and, in the midst of it all, you are expected to feel good about yourself and the people who made and keep you public.  These scenarios have been exasperated and exaggerated with the expansion of social media and reality television.

When you are a public person, whether by choice or circumstance, there is a pedestal that is thrust beneath your feet.  As a public person, it is considered your responsibility to stay on that pedestal and meet the demands, requirements and expectations of pedestal living. After all, you are a public person!  A celebrity! You know that people are looking at you, following you, hanging onto your every word and wishing secretly to be you and have some of what they think you have, even if you don’t have it or deserve it.

When you are unaware or unconcerned of what the demands are, how to meet the requirements or who has created the expectations, you can expect a hard and fast fall. Staying on the pedestal is a matter of making everyone happy, following the trends of public opinions and meeting the expectations of others.

During each taping, Iyanla chooses one audience member to be the blogger of the day. For the sneak preview episode of Iyanla: Fix My Life, Bernadette manned the laptop, capturing lessons, quotes and more. Look back at her notes to find out how three generations of women—Corrine, Brenda and Bernetta—began their journey toward healing.







IYANLA: BEFORE THE SHOW   

• Every step has lead to this moment!   
  
• Family is a passion   
  
• We all have a family pathology   
  
• We have a chance to do better for those coming after us

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

• Taking on an unspoken epidemic, an epidemic of pain and sorrow in the family   
  
• Wants to provide tools and skills and information so everyone can begin the work required to heal every break and breakdown in your family   
  
• Breaking bread is a sacred thing   
  
• Everybody in the breakdown/up play a part in the breakdown