Beloveds, my schedule has been so hectic with filming and
travel, but I wanted to make sure you still had a Monday Matters. Please
enjoy this transcript taken from the Audio CD found with my book, "Tapping the Power Within: A Path to Self-Empowerment for Women". Have a wonderful week. Love, Iyanla
There's a sweet, sweet spirit in this place whenever lives come
together; whenever hearts and minds come together, there's a sweetness.
And whether we call that sweetness peace or bliss joy or nirvana, it's
about the Blessedness of Life. One writer said it like this:
"The Light of God surrounds me,
the Love of God enfolds me,
the Power of God protects me,
the Presence of God watches over me.
is.Right where I am, God
And so it is"
I want to tell you about me when I was a little girl. I had an older
brother and whenever anything happened, I got blamed! I can't imagine
why! So I eventually I got hip to his game. But because I had such a
big, loving heart, I would never say, "He did it!", I would say, "I
"I don't know who broke that vase..." Now there's nobody in the house but me and him and he don't know and I don't know.
But what that reminds me of is that we learn very, very early to go
into denial. At a very young age we learn that we can't acknowledge all
that we know because if we do, we'll either get blamed or we'll be
forced to take responsibility. And instead of that, we go into denial.
And if denial doesn't work, then most of us go into Confusion. We get
confused about what we are denying. And that works sometimes, but as
adults it gets a little difficult.
I went into confusion and denial as an adult, particularly as it
related to my marriage. I won't tell you which one, but I will say that I
was in denial. I knew just as sure as I knew my name that I should not
be marrying the one I was marrying. But I was in denial and then I got
"How can I cancel the florist? The wedding planner? The caterer? I can't.. I can't do all of that!"
So that denial and confusion led me to the very place that I didn't
want to be. You see, we go into denial and confusion very often because
we want to avoid pain and increase pleasure.
We want to avoid those things that we fear or those things that we
think will cause us pain. So we go into denial about what the truth is!
And then we get confused about why we don't have what we want.
Because ultimately if you deny yourself into a state of confusion, you
will hurt yourself or get hurt by someone else.
So as an adult, this is what I learned, "Thou shalt not act like you doth not know!"
Now that's like according to Iyanla, you don't have to practice that!
In fact, I have a more productive way for you to practice this and that
is, ACT LIKE YOU KNOW THE TRUTH.
Act like you know the truth because the truth is, we REALLY do know
the truth! We really do know the truth when we stay out of denial and
confusion. The minute we think that we are going to be in pain or in
fear, we will go into denial. But the commandment is, "Thou shalt not
act like you doth not know!"
You better act like you know the truth, all the time. Because the truth is what the writer said, the Light of God surrounds us!
Something bigger, something greater, something grander than ourselves
is always around us. When I think about what could have happened in
that marriage, I say, "Oh the light was there! The light was there!"
When you think about some of the things that you have put yourself
into that the light guided you out of... of the light IS there. And you
do know that.. when you're not in denial or wearing blinders.
The truth is that the Love of God and Good enfolds us!
When it's all said and done and when we're not looking in a mirror,
we really are loving aren't we? We really are good, loving people. All
of us have a little ugly in us but for the most part, we really are
And we want to live from that place, but we spend too much time avoiding pain and trying to increase pleasure.
The truth that the writer said, that there's a Power that protects us!
At least it protects me, because I'm sure that this isn't true about
you... but I'm human! And on any given day, I am prone to lose my
naturally good mind! I never know what is going to prompt it!
It could be traffic on the Beltway. It could be missing my favorite
cereal in the cereal aisle. It could be an old, episode of Law and
Order, that I've already seen five times and I'm still outraged by the
verdict! But there is a Power within us, a Loving Power.
So we want to learn how to move through life, acting like we know the
truth, because we do. When we're not in denial and when we're not in