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Monday Matters: Act Like You Know the Truth

Posted: Mon 11/12/2012 06:44 PM


Beloveds, my schedule has been so hectic with filming and travel, but I wanted to make sure you still had a Monday Matters. Please enjoy this transcript taken from the Audio CD found with my book, "Tapping the Power Within: A Path to Self-Empowerment for Women".  Have a wonderful week.  Love, Iyanla


There's a sweet, sweet spirit in this place whenever lives come together; whenever hearts and minds come together, there's a sweetness. And whether we call that sweetness peace or bliss joy or nirvana, it's about the Blessedness of Life.  One writer said it like this:

"The Light of God surrounds me,
the Love of God enfolds me,
the Power of God protects me,
the Presence of God watches over me.
is.Right where I am, God
And so it is"

I want to tell you about me when I was a little girl. I had an older brother and whenever anything happened, I got blamed! I can't imagine why! So I eventually I got hip to his game. But because I had such a big, loving heart, I would never say, "He did it!", I would say, "I don't know!"

"I don't know who broke that vase..." Now there's nobody in the house but me and him and he don't know and I don't know.

But what that reminds me of is that we learn very, very early to go into denial. At a very young age we learn that we can't acknowledge all that we know because if we do, we'll either get blamed or we'll be forced to take responsibility. And instead of that, we go into denial.

And if denial doesn't work, then most of us go into Confusion. We get confused about what we are denying. And that works sometimes, but as adults it gets a little difficult.

I went into confusion and denial as an adult, particularly as it related to my marriage. I won't tell you which one, but I will say that I was in denial. I knew just as sure as I knew my name that I should not be marrying the one I was marrying. But I was in denial and then I got confused!

"How can I cancel the florist? The wedding planner? The caterer? I can't.. I can't do all of that!"

So that denial and confusion led me to the very place that I didn't want to be. You see, we go into denial and confusion very often because we want to avoid pain and increase pleasure.

We want to avoid those things that we fear or those things that we think will cause us pain. So we go into denial about what the truth is! And then we get confused about why we don't have what we want. Because ultimately if you deny yourself into a state of confusion, you will hurt yourself or get hurt by someone else.

So as an adult, this is what I learned, "Thou shalt not act like you doth not know!"

Now that's like according to Iyanla, you don't have to practice that! In fact, I have a more productive way for you to practice this and that is, ACT LIKE YOU KNOW THE TRUTH.

Act like you know the truth because the truth is, we REALLY do know the truth! We really do know the truth when we stay out of denial and confusion.  The minute we think that we are going to be in pain or in fear, we will go into denial. But the commandment is, "Thou shalt not act like you doth not know!"

You better act like you know the truth, all the time. Because the truth is what the writer said, the Light of God surrounds us!

Something bigger, something greater, something grander than ourselves is always around us. When I think about what could have happened in that marriage, I say, "Oh the light was there! The light was there!"

When you think about some of the things that you have put yourself into that the light guided you out of... of the light IS there. And you do know that.. when you're not in denial or wearing blinders.

The truth is that the Love of God and Good enfolds us!

When it's all said and done and when we're not looking in a mirror, we really are loving aren't we? We really are good, loving people. All of us have a little ugly in us but for the most part, we really are love.

And we want to live from that place, but we spend too much time avoiding pain and trying to increase pleasure.

The truth that the writer said, that there's a Power that protects us!

At least it protects me, because I'm sure that this isn't true about you... but I'm human! And on any given day, I am prone to lose my naturally good mind!  I never know what is going to prompt it!

It could be traffic on the Beltway. It could be missing my favorite cereal in the cereal aisle. It could be an old, episode of Law and Order, that I've already seen five times and I'm still outraged by the verdict! But there is a Power within us, a Loving Power.

So we want to learn how to move through life, acting like we know the truth, because we do. When we're not in denial and when we're not in confusion.

Monday Matters: Secret Places

Posted: Mon 09/10/2012 03:33 PM
Most people have a place in their mind, heart and life that they would rather not have exposed to public view.  As humans, it is normal to have habits, needs, desires and behaviors that you keep to yourself or share only with those closest to you.  These are the sacred, sometimes secret things, not necessarily bad things, but things the average human considers private and personal.


However, when you are considered by the public to be a public person, these things become fuel for public judgment and criticism. They become things that those who do not know you can use to ridicule and condemn you.  They may be things that the average person would do every day. But when a public person engages in the same behavior, the sacred, secret and normal morphs into scandal.


When you are considered a public person, human weakness means you can be discredited, even when the weakness has nothing to do with what made you public.  As a public person your personal challenges can be reported and discussed publicly as malicious intentions.  Your choices and decisions are used to validate public opinion of your worth and worthiness.  Your mistakes and missteps are elevated to offenses that fuel the public’s outcry for punishment, which is often debated long after it is necessary or productive.


When you are a public person, your every intention is suspect; your every move is criticized, your very personage is subject to attack and debasement and, in the midst of it all, you are expected to feel good about yourself and the people who made and keep you public.  These scenarios have been exasperated and exaggerated with the expansion of social media and reality television.


When you are a public person, whether by choice or circumstance, there is a pedestal that is thrust beneath your feet.  As a public person, it is considered your responsibility to stay on that pedestal and meet the demands, requirements and expectations of pedestal living. After all, you are a public person!  A celebrity! You know that people are looking at you, following you, hanging onto your every word and wishing secretly to be you and have some of what they think you have, even if you don’t have it or deserve it.


When you are unaware or unconcerned of what the demands are, how to meet the requirements or who has created the expectations, you can expect a hard and fast fall. Staying on the pedestal is a matter of making everyone happy, following the trends of public opinions and meeting the expectations of others.

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