The Work: Standing In Your Truth, Being Who You Are
"The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are."
— Joseph Campbell
This week's episode of Iyanla: Fix My Life deals with the courage to be yourself. Every day, we are tempted to give ourselves over to the pressures of the world in an attempt to be the person others demand or expect us to be. We want to make others comfortable, even when it means being uncomfortable within ourselves. This pressure, coupled with the common human affliction "the disease to please," challenges the human will. We all want to be loved, accepted and acknowledged for who we are and the values we hold. However, when who we are, what we believe and what we need to be goes against what is considered normal, acceptable or comfortable, our differences can lead to difficulties, the greatest being self-denial.
Frequently, Iyanla has said, "You must be willing to give up everything in order to have yourself." The difficulties, pain, fear and challenges associated with authentic self-expression is a powerful path to healing and self-reliance. Taking a stand for yourself—within yourself, in order to be yourself—is essential in the process of self-discovery. Furthermore, that self-loving posture that prevents you from taking a stand and keeps you comfortable could cost you everything.
This week's study guide is offered to support you in developing the skills and courage required to stand in your power as an authentic being. As you complete the inquiries, stay focused on you, your thoughts and your motivations, even if other people are involved. As you open your heart and mind to compassionately acknowledge what you have done or not done to honor your truth, you open the door for healing, learning and growth.
Please complete this statement: What I believe about myself is ________.
Please complete this statement: What I believe about my personal power is ______.
Please complete this statement: What I believe about my life is __________.
Identify the three most important relationships in your life.
For each of the relationships identified above, consider how you deny your thoughts feelings and needs in order to keep the peace. In other words, what do you do?
Take a moment to reflect on your responses to the previous question and identify the three to five strongest feelings you have about yourself as a result of this behavior.
For each of the relationships identified above, what is it that you would like to say that you have not said to the other person/people involved.
For each of the relationships identified above, what do you tell yourself would happen if you were to tell the truth about your thoughts, feelings and needs?
For each of the relationships identified above, what is the price you pay for withholding your true thoughts, feelings and needs in order to keep the peace?
Take a moment to consider how what you believe about yourself, your personal power and your life is reflected in what you do to maintain the peace and keep others comfortable.
Instructions: Complete each or any of the following statements as many times as necessary to offer yourself forgiveness for your false beliefs and the behaviors that keep those beliefs in place.
I forgive myself for thinking __________.
I forgive myself for believing __________.
I forgive myself for __________.