5 Steps to Identifying—and Overcoming—Your Deepest Fears
September 15, 2012
In "Fix My Reality-Star Life," Iyanla Vanzant supported reality star Evelyn Lozada in a journey of self-discovery. What Iyanla found was that Evelyn was like so many of us—a person who used anger to hide her deepest fears. Now, you can do The Work. Complete the questions below to identify and work through the fears in your life.
What are your deepest fears? List them here. Once you acknowledge them, they will start to lose their power.
Now, step back. Read what you've written. Have you told the ruthless, radical, down-in-the-gutter dirty truth? If you haven't, honor yourself by facing your fears head on. What are they really? Record them here.
Now that you've faced your truth, what are the ways you have covered these fears over time? Have you lashed out in anger, afraid to expose any vulnerability? Have you put up walls to keep the pain away? Get real about your behavior.
Have these fears come from something in your past? Are there patterns you're starting to recognize? Where have you seen them in the past—and how are they coming up in your present?
Take a day to reflect on these patterns. What do you tolerate that your instincts tell you is wrong? Record each situation and one way to stop it from happening again. Once you do the hard work, you can finally heal—and grow.
Printed from Oprah.com on Sunday, December 8, 2013