By Iyanla Vanzant
336 pages; Hay House, Inc.
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Chapter 9: Pushed to the Breaking Point
There was a period of about three years in which I simply was not fully present to what was going on within me or around me. The re-release of Acts of Faith
, coupled with the simultaneous release of two new books, In the Meantime
and One Day My Soul Just Opened Up
, took my work to the New York Times
bestseller list and put me in such demand that I was traveling four or more days a week, every week, month after month for more than two years.
And it was during this time that Spirit and I became all but strangers. On most days, I lost track of my spiritual practices and my faith. I prayed and I meditated, but I was no longer sure what I believed or how I felt about what I believed. The thing that saved me and kept my faith alive was when I sat to write, stood before an audience to speak, or coached another person, I could feel the living presence of Spirit in my being. These were the times when the failure of my marriage and my feelings of unworthiness didn't matter. When I was on purpose, doing my work, I knew without a shadow of doubt that God had my back. Yet, for some reason, I slipped out of the Presence when it came to handling my personal life. Then, in the midst of my human madness of living out my personal lie, I got the telephone call that would change my life forever. I was invited to be a guest on The Oprah Winfrey Show