I followed the thought into action, with a few minor and perfectly devastating adjustments: I did not reveal to Oprah who had made the offer. I just said it was someone very big in the television world. I shared with her—honestly, I thought—why I should move forward with my own show now, even though I had said just the opposite in our meeting. I asked for what I thought would be an appropriate next step—to create a pilot project for a show I would host. Oprah seemed to receive my request with gracious consideration. The executive producer asked me who had made the offer. I told her that it was not important. What was important for me, I said, was to listen to the guidance I had received after praying and fasting. Instead of pressing me, she simply said that I would hear from Harpo soon. Oprah remained silent.

A week later, I heard that I should accept "the offer," because it was evident that I was not moving in the same direction as Harpo. My attorney received a similar curt call. He too was shocked and confused, since I did not actually have a firm offer from the Walters camp. Yes, there had been inquiries, but we had dismissed them, saying that I was happy with Harpo. Not one to give up on a dream that easily, I pursued the executive producer for a better explanation of why they had decided to drop me. When I finally got her on the telephone, she let it rip!

"We were offering you the chance of a lifetime. We were offering you something that not many have been offered, and you have the nerve to tell me that someone 'big' made you an offer. Someone big! Who is bigger than we are? Because you prayed and meditated, you think that someone big can do more for you than we can? I'm not sure what you want, but we must not have it."