After the fourth or fifth telephone call from the executive, I concluded that the offer warranted my attention. I knew there was a lesson I needed to learn, but I had no clue what it was. I decided to reengage my spiritual practice of prayer and fasting. I committed to pray and fast for seven days or until I got the direction I needed. The issue at hand was whether to stay at Harpo or leave and start my own show. My preference was to stay put, but I had that black hole in my Spirit to be filled.
On the sixth morning, I awakened with the thought, The time is now. I shot straight up in my bed and spoke aloud, "I am not leaving Harpo." As if someone were whispering in my ear, I heard it again, The time is now! Time for what? I concluded that the message meant that it was time for me to stand on my own. Then I came face to face with the belief that I was not good enough to stand on my own. That meant I was avoiding the offer because fear was driving my choice. But I really didn't want to leave Harpo; it was the opportunity of a lifetime. Why would I walk away from a blessing as huge as the one on my plate? Then I had one little egotized show me that I am good enough! thought. The thought was: Tell Oprah what is going on and ask her if she would be willing to back my show. Seemed like a good idea at the time.