Dr. Phil, is it unrealistic to have a man wish list with 100 traits?
DR. PHIL: Okay, let me tell you. If I could find a guy that could do 20 of these, I would marry him, okay? And you want a hundred of these. You realize that this isn't gonna happen, right? I actually went over that with [my wife] Robin last night. She said, "You don't get out of the top five." Okay? That's not gonna happen.
Look, lemme tell you. I strongly believe that what you need to do if you really wanna find somebody, is you've got to go for an 80 percent candidate. You've gotta find out those things that you really think matter. Values, beliefs, things that really define who he is...One of the things that I thought when I first read that is, I thought this is your way to not get into a relationship. This is your way to hide from intimacy because if you never find the candidate, then you don't have to take the risk of committing. Now that's what this says to me. It's a good excuse to sit on the sidelines. It's a good excuse to sit on the sidelines.
Suze, how can I help my husband get his finances in order without jeopardizing my own?
Suze Orman: I feel like you are in this financially battered relationship. It hasn't changed in 16 years! We're not talking about this happened 16 months ago, or 16 days ago, this has been going on for 16 years! He lied to you last week. Here's what I want you to do financially speaking. I want you to close down every single one of your credit cards - That you currently have...and I want you to do something powerful for yourself, right now your in defense; I want you to go to financial offense.
Here's how your going to do it, your gonna close down every single one of your credit cards. You are then going to put a credit freeze cause you don't need credit cards either. We're just gonna go to an all cash basis. Seriously, we're gonna go to a all cash basis, I don't care if you have to go into these stores and buy the credit cards that are there, and fund them until you send them but you are not going to have a credit card in your name.
You are also going to put a credit freeze on your credit report. What is a credit freeze? A credit freeze, a company by the name of Trusted ID can go online look them up, does this for you; it makes it so that if anybody even applies to even get any information about you whatsoever, your accounts are frozen...but if he wants to make more, and he wants to put it in his name, after divorce, if it gets to that, we can prove that that's what he did, and you won't be liable for it...all right, you're gonna do that, honest to God, this is not a financial problem. Dr. Phil has said it over and over and over again, that you don't solve a financial problem by throwing money at it.
I'm moving in with my boyfriend and I make a lot more money than he does. Suze, how do we split the bills?
SUZE ORMAN: It's a big problem because you know a lot of times all of you think its got to be fifty/fifty. If you have three thousand dollars a month worth of bills each of you has to pay fifteen hundred dollars that is not how you should do it. It should be equal percentages not equal amounts of money.
If you're joint expenses are three thousand a month, your joint take home together is ten thousand a month. Divide ten thousand into three thousand, that's thirty percent. Thirty percent of your take home -which would be seven thousand dollars - goes into the pot which is twenty one hundred dollars. Thirty percent of his which would three thousand goes into the pot.
About ten years ago I had a tubal reversal done so that my husband and I can have children together and at that time he made me a promise that I can get a tummy tuck done when we were finished having kids. Dr. Phil, should my husband have to honor his promise to me? Suze, is there a way we could afford to pay for a tummy tuck?
SUZE ORMAN: It's simple because I looked at you finances. You have five hundred dollars of credit card debit, you have ten thousand dollars in savings. According to Suze rules you always need at least an eight month emergency fund that's not ten thousand dollars so while maybe you want this, this isn't something that you need, and right now in today's economy money needs to be spent on needs, not want especially when you have credit card debt and only ten thousand dollars in savings. I don't understand what the problem is.
DR. PHIL: Frances, if you knew that this was gonna put you in financial jeopardy would you want to do it anyway?
FRANCES: The responsible side of me says no. But the side of me that sees what's left after kids says yes.
DR. PHIL: But you, you really would put your children, their security - you would put that at risk in order to have that cosmetic procedure?
FRANCES: No I wouldn't.
DP: Okay so I mean that's the whole bottom line cause that's exactly what you're gonna do. By the way Dr. Oz, how painful is a tummy tuck?
DR. OZ: It hurts a lot. Of all the plastics procedure's it's probably the most fraught with complications.
Dr. Oz, Is it possible to take on the traits of my organ donor?
DR. OZ: Well it's possible but I think it's improbable and I've done a lot of heart transplants. What ends up happening a lot after transplants is we give you steroids and a lot of other very powerful medications. And it will change our personalities. It might change it coincidentally to be like the person who's donated their heart very kindly to you. But I think that the basis of memory in our bodies is so subtle in how you behave, but I am happy you're doing well.