Read an Excerpt of Waiter Rant
Leaving Benny and his sexually conflicted comrades behind, I enter the trattoria's main dining room. It's only five o'clock on Saturday night, and the place is already filling up with customers. Influxes of bull-market nouveau riche transformed this formerly picturesque suburb into a gigantic outdoor shopping mall. Oozing with corporate-branded hipness, the town's countless rows of boutiques, restaurants, and art galleries ruthlessly compete with one another for the well-shod discretionary incomes of the yuppies prowling its streets. Situated in the heart of the town's retail district, Amici's sucks yuppies off the sidewalk like a black hole consuming dust from a dying star. Amici's has the three things any restaurant needs to survive—location, location, location.
"So you ready to rock and roll, newbie?" Rizzo, the headwaiter, asks me.
"Ready as I'll ever be, I guess."
"You're gonna be busting your ass tonight. We're down two waiters."
"You mean there are only four of us taking care of two hundred people?"
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