Dr. Robin and David

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Psychologist Dr. Robin Smith says pride isn't David's problem...it's anger. "Affairs are often full of rage and hostility," Dr. Robin says. "They are a way that people communicate, without saying a word."

Instead of looking back through his marriage for the root of his problems, Dr. Robin tells David to think back even further. "All of us get wounded in childhood. You did not create this kind of self-destruction in your life, in your wife's life, in the lives of your children without a wound starting in childhood," she says. "Who pulled the rug from underneath you? That's what you've done to your family, and we learn that behavior somewhere. ... Someone teaches us how to be mean."

"I love my father, but my father...he doesn't listen to my mom," David says. "He doesn't respect her. He doesn't listen to anybody."

Dr. Robin says David's childhood pain is the real cancer in his life. David's tearful admission is the beginning of his healing, she says. "The fact that you just spoke that truth, now you're on your way to freedom."
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FROM: When Your Husband Cheats with Your Best Friend
Published on May 18, 2006

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