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Marco, Deborah's husband, says his wife kept her addiction a secret by blaming her mood swings on stress, but he knew something wasn't right.

"I started seeing her lose more and more weight, her mood changed [and she] really couldn't function very well anymore...little by little withdrawing herself from the family, spending more time away," he says. "It was a dramatic change from who she was. She was no longer the woman I fell in love with."

Deborah denied that she was using drugs, but Marco confronted her and saw a side of his wife he'd never seen before. "One time she did get very violent with me," he says. "She attacked me. I had to literally lock myself in the bathroom."

Marco and his children finally got Deborah help, but she says treatment didn't work for her. "When I made the choice to quit the final time, I did it cold turkey," she says. Deborah has been sober for 15 months.

Dr. Tara says Marco did the most loving thing for his wife by taking a stand and not enabling her addiction. "You gave her a bottom line, which is 'I can't tolerate this anymore,'" she says. "It was really losing this relationship and the children that got her to get into treatment and to recover."
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FROM: The Mom Afraid to Touch Her Own Children
Published on October 19, 2006

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