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Marco, Deborah's husband, says his wife kept her addiction a secret by blaming her mood swings on stress, but he knew something wasn't right.

"I started seeing her lose more and more weight, her mood changed [and she] really couldn't function very well anymore...little by little withdrawing herself from the family, spending more time away," he says. "It was a dramatic change from who she was. She was no longer the woman I fell in love with."

Deborah denied that she was using drugs, but Marco confronted her and saw a side of his wife he'd never seen before. "One time she did get very violent with me," he says. "She attacked me. I had to literally lock myself in the bathroom."

Marco and his children finally got Deborah help, but she says treatment didn't work for her. "When I made the choice to quit the final time, I did it cold turkey," she says. Deborah has been sober for 15 months.

Dr. Tara says Marco did the most loving thing for his wife by taking a stand and not enabling her addiction. "You gave her a bottom line, which is 'I can't tolerate this anymore,'" she says. "It was really losing this relationship and the children that got her to get into treatment and to recover."
FROM: The Mom Afraid to Touch Her Own Children
Published on October 19, 2006


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