DeChane, a successful attorney in Washington, D.C., also struggles with the 30-something single scene. Her fear is that men are intimidated by her. "None of my female friends have ever said I'm intimidating," she says. "Having an education, a house, a job does not make me intimidating. It just makes me an adult living an adult life." She finds it ironic that her achievements may turn men off. "I would think they would find it more unusual if I walked into the picture not having anything. But I think after 35 years of living, working, and being driven, I should have something to show for it."
DeChane also thinks that men make assumptions about single women in their 30s. "I think they assume that if you aren't married, you want to get married," she says. "Instead of meeting you and approaching you in a manner that's very basic—I want to get to know you, who you are, what your likes and dislikes are—I think they walk in the door expecting you to try to strong-arm them into getting married, and it scares them away."