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Jenna says that her inability to get pregnant led to feelings of shame. "I should be able to bear children," she says. "That's the basic difference between a man and a woman physically—the ability to bear children. And I can't do that." She also feels like she's not living the life she planned. "I'm in my early 30s and the people around me are having children and living their lives, and I feel like I'm stuck," Jenna says. "I feel like I'm in a place where I can't move on until I get some closure to this."

While she is beginning to accept that she might never have children of her own, Jenna says she hasn't yet made peace with that prediction. "I'm a teacher. My life's goal is to help kids grow, to watch them be nurtured. And for me to be able to let that go? I'm not ready for that," she says. "We will adopt, or we will have foster children. But I can't let go of not being a mom."
FROM: Thirty-Something in America
Published on January 25, 2007