Dr. Robin says that "lies at the altar" are wedding vows couples make without really knowing the truth about themselves and their partners. "We make these promises from a place of ignorance ... ignorance that we don't know who we are," Dr. Robin says. "We don't know our partner and we make pledges and promises to be someone to someone that we don't know. And so it's doomed to fail even if people stay married for many, many years."
When she got married, Dr. Robin says she told herself lies too. "One of the fundamental lies was that it was my job to make someone else happy, and my own happiness was not even on the table," she says. In her book, Dr. Robin presents 275 questions to help couples grow closer, whether they are planning to marry or have been married for years.
Discuss these critical relationship questions with your partner.
Dr. Robin says it's important to ask your partner questions such as, "What do you think about people coming over uninvited?" and "What makes your heart smile?"—and not just assume you know the answers.