It wasn't until her life was on an upswing that Lorraine realized something was wrong. "When Sopranos came out, I was starting to make some money. I was starting to be able to pay off those debts and got fulfilling work. ... [Oldest daughter] Margaux was going to NYU, graduating with honors. Stella was well," Lorraine says. "And I finally looked myself in the mirror ... and one day I just said, 'How come everything can be going so well and I'm not jumping for joy?'"
It was then that Lorraine says she realized she hadn't been herself in quite awhile. "I was keeping in shape. I was reading. I was doing good things for myself," she says. "And I kept saying, 'Oh, next week will be better. Next month will be better.'"
Lorraine says she worked hard to function and put on her "game face," but underneath it all was a pervasive sense of sadness. "It's like walking pneumonia. Instead, it's walking depression. Or it's a fever that you have all day long, all the time," she says. "I was dead inside."