Gary says he's speaking out for the first time about his wife's suicide to try to help those suffering from depression and the people who love them. "I don't know what I would do different or if I could change [the past]," he says. "But if somebody could see the pattern in themselves or somebody else...I know that you have to be your own advocate out there."
It was only after his wife's death that he began to truly understand the disease, he says. Grief and sadness sent him into a depressed state for almost a year.
Then, Gary went to see a neurologist who told him he needed to find a way to laugh again and prescribed him antidepressants. "She had walked through some different prescriptions with me and one seemed to fit me really well. It worked great," he says. "I went on for about a year, and I've been off for about a year. ... I feel like myself again. I'm up."
After a lot of prayer and counseling, which began the morning after Angela's suicide, Gary says the children are doing well. "I think, overall, everybody's really holding up," Gary says. "I think that we handled it as good as we could have handled it."
Gary says his relationship with Angela's family is strained. "You know what? It's normal," he says. "I just give them kindness back and I wish nothing but good for them... It's awful for all of us to deal with."
Although Gary is making new music and moving on with his life, he says he still misses his wife. "She made every day magic somehow," he says. "I love her, and I forgive her. And I wish she wouldn't have done it."
Gary's latest CD is called Greatest Hits. For more information about Gary, visit www.garyallan.com.