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We took a break in our conversation, emotionally drained. The sun would be setting soon and we all needed a little space to digest everything that had been spoken. I showered and dressed and went outside. I wanted to yell at someone. I wanted to cry. Instead, I picked my way down the wooded hill and crossed a creek by crawling on my hands and knees over a fallen tree.

I could not make any sense of life, at least not of that woman's life. I wanted to stop imagining the details of her story. I couldn't.

As I reached the other side of the stream, I looked up and saw a deer standing in the trees about thirty feet away from me. It was not much bigger than a fawn, but old enough to have lost its spots. Slowly, I began walking toward the deer. He didn't run. When I was just a few feet away from him, I got down on my hands and knees and crept up beside him. I kept thinking he would bolt, but he stayed still.

Slowly I stretched out my hand until my fingers touched his nose. We both jumped back a little. Still he didn't run. I reached out again. This time I touched the fur on his neck…then his shoulder. I began petting him gently, then scratching his chest until I found myself wrapping my arms around his neck and leaning against him. It was the most peaceful interaction I have ever had with an untamed animal. After a while I backed away, turned, and walked toward the creek. When I looked back, the deer was gone.

It's hard to put into words what I drew from that unexpected experience. Strangely, a calm wonder had replaced my fear.

Read more excerpts from Amy Grant's Mosaic:

"Mother's Day"

"How Did I Wind Up Here?"

"True Love"

"Dorothy Lee"

"Thistles"
FROM: Amy Grant, Vince Gill, Rascal Flatts, Kenny Rogers: Home for the Holidays
Published on January 01, 2006

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