Dr. Fradkin says this confusion can occur when a boy is abused by a woman, as well. "If it's a gay man or a guy who's going to become gay who's abused by a man, then his confusion or his fear is that: 'Oh my gosh, I've been found out. I already know I'm different. They picked me out, and they want me. Now the whole world knows about me,'" Dr. Fradkin says. "If it's a boy who's abused by a woman, and he's going to become heterosexual, then we talked about all the shame that happens—all the inadequacy. All the: 'I didn't control it. I wasn't in charge.' There's horrendous shame about a woman abusing a man."
Dr. Fradkin's words strike a chord with Tyler. "Experiencing everything that you're talking about is really...wow, that's awesome to finally understand it," Tyler says. "Walking through it, trying to figure it out myself in my teens and 20s, trying to figure out, 'What is this?' and realizing that this person gave me something that did not belong to me."