Gavin de Becker
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Gavin says there are two things anyone can do to prevent an ordeal like Teri's from happening: Spot red flags early on and trust your instincts. "The best thing is identifying these warning signs before you get into relationships and before you get kids, when it's possible," he says. "At those times, the men are usually less invested emotionally. It's much easier to end a relationship early than it is to end it later on because of that emotional investment."

Get the warning signs.

"I often say the first time a woman is beaten, she is a victim. And the second time, she is a volunteer," he says. "That's a very controversial thing for some people because they think I'm blaming the victim. But what I'm actually doing is saying, 'If you don't recognize that staying in that relationship is a choice, you'll never recognize that leaving the relationship is a choice.'"

Take Gavin's assessment to help determine if you or a loved one is at risk  

FROM: "Stay Alive" Expert Gavin de Becker Unveils the New Tool to Keep You Safe
Published on April 15, 2010

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