Nadya: Right. In the beginning.
Suze: Because of that, you could make a lot of money again.You made a lot of money in the beginning. Don't tell me that you don’t think to yourself, "If I did it once, I can do it twice."
Nadya: Yes, because you told me I could. That’s true.
Suze: And you never thought about it before that ever?
Nadya: I don’t want to. The reason is [because] I don’t feel I earned it. Here's the thing: celebrity. I feel as though you need to have talent and you need to have earned the word.
Suze: You have 14 babies.
Nadya: Being a breeder does not warrant the celebrity label. I did not want to be famous. I feel like I am a breeder. I had children, but all I wanted was to continue on [with] my own business and go back to school. I did not want those cameras in my face. And then here I'm thrown into the situation and I feel like..."Oh my gosh, how the heck am I going to do this? I have to put food on the table."
So I'm going to do it. Oh, they're paying for my house, they're sending me $150,000. I'm going to buy a house. ... So I'm going to have them wire money. I'm going to keep on having to do these interviews. They're going to jump in with the makeup and the crap and "you can't wear sweats," they say. And they're giving me gift cards—"You're going to buy this, you're going to but that." I'm not true to myself. And I hate myself. I hate me because I'm not being me. I'm being this thing that they invented in the frickin' media. This octomom. ... I want me back. I want to be true. I want to stay true to me. Which is why we're freaking poor—because I refused to go on any reality [show]...to exploit my family. I don't want anything to do with it. I like my dilapidated, torn-up minivan. I don’t want an expensive car. I started to hate money because everything that's associated with that—fame, the limelight—all of that to me is phony.