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As Steve, Lynnell says she felt like a woman trapped in a man's body. "I felt schizophrenic. I felt there was this person deep down dying to come out, and on the outside was this facade that was just waiting to go away."

So Lynnell tried to make herself act more like a man. "I decided to get married to a woman—to be someone's husband—because I thought it would make me into a guy," Lynnell says. "It didn't work."

The marriage lasted for a year, and then Lynnell says she went through a very dark period. "I wasn't living at all. I was very asexual and just wanted to die."

Fourteen years ago, Lynnell says she gained the courage to live the truth. "I don't think I've ever decided to start living as Lynnell," she says. "I think I decided to stop living as Steve."
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FROM: Growing Up Intersex
Published on September 21, 2007

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