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Dr. Ablow believes that molesters are "broken people" with their own sad history of abuse. "Someone destroyed your boyfriend," Dr. Ablow tells Jody, who shot her boyfriend after an alleged molestation incident with her daughter. "And we don't have that person to hold into account. And the fact that he was killed, to me, is a tragic outcome of a story that went bad. It would have been much better, of course—and I think Jody would agree—if we could have found him early and tried to help him. Not necessarily with an eye toward letting him go, but with an eye toward being human toward him. Saying, 'Look, I'm sorry, we don't have a cure [for molesters] so of course you can't leave this building. But we don't hate you. We feel bad for you.' If we can find that in our souls."

"Is that what we should be doing? Feeling badly for them?" Oprah asks.

"It's very hard to feel sympathy toward someone who hurts a child," says Dr. Ablow. "In order to do that, you have to do what I do in my career and in my life, which is find the child in those broken people. And once you hear what happened to them, it's very hard to maintain the same position of judgment."
FROM: When the One You Love Is a Pedophile
Published on August 02, 2005


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